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AS DEFINED BY WIKIPEDIA.COM: Jet lag, also jetlag or jet-lag, medically referred to as "desynchronosis" is a physiological condition which is a consequence of alterations to circadian rhythms; it is classified as one of the circadian rhythm sleep disorders. Jet lag results from rapid long-distance transmeridian (east-west or west-east) travel, as on a jet plane. The condition of jet lag may last many days, and recovery rates of 1 day per eastward time zone or 1 day per 1.5 westward time zones are mentioned as fair guidelines.^[1]

AS DEFINED BY HONEY BEE SEPEDA (THE LANGUAGE MIGHT GET A LITTLE BLUE HERE): Jetlag, a medical motherf#$^@! of a condition, that leaves it's victim in a constant state of confusion with an utter lack of any awareness of the present. Symptoms include sleeplessness and a crankiness akin to PMS on the good Colombian marching powder, robbing the victim of any tolerance for anything even remotely unpleasant. Even the truly pleasant can render it's victim violent and hostile. Case in point: We had the Gretchen Troop Band Friday night, and they were so good it's nothing shy of miraculous that my jetlag-laden ass didn't smack one of them. I mean really good. Gretchen was hitting notes that made me want to hit her in the head with her mic stand (jetlag is not rational). Towards the end of the first set, Mark Diamond played such a fantastic solo that I almost had to chase him around the room, beating him in the back with his own bass. No really, that good. And then there's Bob Schlesinger on keys...his skill on those keys is so tremendous, he's lucky to be alive. Same goes for Wil Swindler on sax. Count your blessings, Buddie! With the wonderful Randall Dubis on guitar and Rodney Simon on drums, Gretchen has amassed a stage full of masters, and we hear it in every note. So terrific, the only reason these Titanic Talents survived my jetlag is that I was simply too tired for mass murder. That and I'm too pretty for prison.

And if all that weren't enough, Gretchen is also the dear soul responsible for the beautiful curtains we now have hanging behind the stage. Yeah, that's right, she sews. She can also cook. That's it, I'm killing her the next time I see her (unless my condition has stabilized by then). And a big thanks to Jill Watkins for taking over Operation Curtain while I was away. And I hear our own Ms. Delores Scott and #19, Ms. Jodie Woodward, joined Gretchen and Jill in Operation Hang. I wish I'd seen that...and photographed it. They look great, girls, and thank you!

The night before my homicidal leanings we had Steve Crenshaw, as recommended by Lionel Young. I owe you one, Lionel! He's really good, and although I could only stay for part of the first set--given that my circadian rhythm was still somewhere over the Atlantic--it was enough to know that he'll be back. The man can play the guitar.

Before I finally leave my jetlag behind and get to who's coming, permit me to reference my recent overseas trip one last time. I know most of you think my recent journey to Italy was a vacation in nature, and I forgive you your ignorance (and resist the temptation to label you Philistine Heathens). This was a business trip. I flew to Venice on an acquisitions mission for the Honey Bee Sepeda Luscious Legwear Museum. Strictly business, and a complete write-off. All great museums must continue to acquire to keep collections relevant an au current. Mine is no exception. And acquire, I did. And acquire, and acquire, and acquire. Renowned author and Art Historian, Dr. Toni Sepeda, acted as Acquisitions Consultant, and her reputation remains intact. She has an incredible eye, and the Museum is lucky to have her. Thanks, Mom!

So, who's coming? Well tomorrow night is Thackery Thursday! We finally got him, and he's ours for the night. Tickets are selling fast, so please remember to come early if you want a seat. He's a legend for a reason. I knew Jimmy back in the old Desperados Days (a former Blues bar in DC that closed in the early 80's rendering grown men into puddles of grief), but I doubt he remembers me. We'll find out tomorrow.

Friday night welcomes the return of Tijerina, a smokin' hot band out of Albuquerque. Todd Tijerina is not only a tremendous Blues guitarist, but he also holds the distinction of being named a Fiancée twice. It's a long story. Here's a little of what our Sr. Guitar Correspondent had to say about Tijerina:

Todd's trio got in two pretty tasty sets of kick-ass blues. The band focuses on Todd's smooth yet powerful guitar and voice and is rounded out by Phil Petty on bass & vocals, and Bjorn Hamre on drums.

I was highly impressed with Todd when I first caught him in Longmont a few years ago. I thought at the time that he was a damn good guitar player. You could hear the influences of Albert King and Clapton in his style. This past summer at Blues Under The Bridge in C-Springs, I caught him again and thought he was even better than before. It's great when a performer keeps getting better and better, and that's the groove that Tijerina is in right now. He isn't complacent; he isn't satisfied in just being good, he wants to be great and it shows in the fire within his music. As good as he was in the Springs, last weeks show was his best yet and fans like me really appreciate that extra effort that he pushes into his performances.

And then some. They are also three very nice and enjoyable people. Looking forward to seeing you guys again!

Saturday night, my girls are back! Glass Ceiling! Yay! For those of you who've not caught these three delicious women, we'll see you Saturday night, and wear your best dancing shoes. If these chicks don't get you on the dance floor, see your doctor. Something's wrong.

Although I'll remind us all next week, don't forget my main girl! Candye Kane! She's finally coming to the Outlook (we have Steady Rollin' to thank for this, who, by the way, produced her latest FANTASTIC record, Guitar''d and Feathered), and she's the talk of the town right now. For those of you not familiar with her work, WOW! She's a powerful presence with a powerful talent. Here's a little something from her site to whet your whistle:

Candye's live show is the stuff of legend. She honors the bold blues women of the past with both feet firmly planted in the present. She belts - growls - shouts - croons and moans from a lifetime of suffering and overcoming obstacles. She'll deliver a barrelhouse blues tune or a soulful ballad and then slay the crowd with her balls out rendition of "Whole Lotta Love" Led Zeppelin style. She often says she is a "black drag queen trapped in a white woman's body" and she dresses the part. Bedecked in bright colored feathers, sequins and rhinestones, Kane's performance is Mississippi by way of Las Vegas with a quick stopover in San Francisco.

Awards include the Best Blues Band award at the San Diego Music Awards 7 times including 2006. Other recent honors include winning an OUT music award in 2006 for best art design for her 7th CD, White Trash Girl. Best Blues CD of 2005 at the San Diego Music Awards, the Trophees France International Award 2004 for Best International Blues Chanteuse and Artist of the Year. She also unseated Jewel for Artist of the Year at the San Diego Music Awards and won the California Music Award for Best Swing-Cabaret Artist.

And, just ask Chick about her guitar player, the very young (27ish) Laura Chavez. We caught them in Cheyenne for New Year's Eve, and I can't imagine a better way to welcome a new year. Too bad I have no musical talent, because a Candye and Honey show just sounds right. And sweet.

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